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The tale of thigs

3/19/2017

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Let me tell you a story, I’d like to share an anecdote with you, oh this reminds me of when…’ – sound familiar?
 
When we start to clear out stuff, these phrases inevitably come out in the conversation, whether it be aloud or in our head.
 
At first it may be interesting but then for the listener it can become tedious.  On the other hand it can also give you quite an insight into the past life of your friend, family member or client. 
 
Everyone has a story – no matter how little or big.  Expressing that story to a listener is a vital part of the purging process.  It enables us to explain, reminisce and ultimately say goodbye in a feel good, balanced way.  Of course it’s more time consuming, but let’s focus on the experience of letting go and savour the trust between you.  Otherwise, they would not be sharing the tale of their possessions with you.  You then, are also involved and required to be respectful of the memories.  Not always easy but extremely crucial.  Relax in your efficiency mode and let the experience be a positive one – you will be surprised at the ease and willingness that follows. 
 
Some good music, a nice cup of tea or specialty coffee always helps the ambiance if it’s a big project or a lot of history.  If you are going through this with a loved one, consider it time well spent together instead of just another to do item to cross off your list.
 
Many life changes are traumatic so let’s do our best to minimize the negative and make it something worth remembering.
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Overwhelmed with Reality - Guest Blog dabblinginreality

3/12/2017

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​How do you manage an unmanageable life? When crisis hits, especially health crises, how do you drag yourself through each day when you can barely function?
As grown ups, we have a lot of responsibility. Not just the type of responsibility we all face morally, such as being good people, friends, daughters, sons... but the mundane and sometimes suffocating responsibility of daily life. Finally, we're old enough to do whatever we want! If only we had the time, stamina and mental strength.
Speaking of mental health, thousands of people struggle every day to get out of bed, brush their teeth, shower, go to work, clean their home, feed themselves... the list goes on. Doing just one of these things a day can feel like climbing mount Everest when your struggling with mental health issues. Maybe you can do it for a while, but then you hit a rough patch, and the infinitesimal becomes colossal. Of course you know how to take care of yourself. You know what you should be doing financially, physically, personally etc. But the problem is, your ability to do this is compromised when you're carrying around the weight of mental illness.
Along with this struggle to take care of oneself comes the nasty feelings of shame, frustration, fear, and hopelessness. How does everyone else do it? Why can't I just get myself together? I'm a loser. I never thought things would turn out this way. Will it ever get better? I want to run away. I can't do this anymore. Do people think I'm just lazy? Am I? These feelings end up drawing us into ourselves even further and withdrawing us from loved ones.  All of this negativity is like carbonation, and mental illness is the act of shaking the bottle. Boom! All those tiny thought bubbles: "You could do that yourself," "Don't be lazy," "That's a luxury you can't afford," and/or "get a grip and just do it!" The truth is, these thoughts are not helpful, and often not true. When you struggle with circumstances that make regular things too difficult, you need to find irregular ways of dealing with them. What are some alternatives that could make life easier while you're stuck in this funk? How can you get the help you desperately need (and secretly want) without feeling like a burden to your loved ones?
Trust and believe that your friends and family are wringing their hands worrying about you, and they wish they could help. Let them! Do you need someone to help you sort out mail that you've let pile up for months? Maybe a friend could come over and you could open envelopes and sort things into separate piles while watching a movie together. Are you having trouble waking up and getting out of bed in the morning? I've had times when I had to ask a friend to phone me in the morning to give me a wake up call, so I wouldn't sleep through my alarm and be late for work. Think about what day to day things are creating bigger problems for you, and then brainstorm some ideas of how to make them easier. Get other people's opinions for this, as your brain may be in a bit of fog at a time like this.
I can gauge the status of my mental health by looking at the state of my home. When it's a mess, I'm a mess. Well, to be honest, it's always a mess even when I'm fine (because I'm an interesting person, thank you very much), but it's extra messy when I'm not fine. It's a closed circle because when I'm a mess, my house is a mess, and when my house is messy, my mind gets even messier. Fun, right?
At times like this, I like to ponder the age old question: "What would Beyoncé do?" Well, she'd hire someone and they'd do it for her. Sounds luxurious, and obviously you can't always afford to hire help, but could you for some of the time, or some of the tasks? It's worth it to google what services are available and see what you could work into your budget. I have had to hire a maid service for an hour or two on occasion because I just could not deal with my overwhelming mess. I don't begrudge one red cent of that money, because I felt so much better once it was done. I could think more clearly- like they had actually cleaned out my mind. From there I could start again and take baby steps to maintain things. It probably cost me about 3 restaurant meals, but it was much more beneficial.
Clutter is a sneaky contributor to stress because you don't realize how much it's affecting you until it's gone. Having less things around has a very positive impact on your well being. That being said, pulling your closet apart will probably leave you curled up in the fetal position, fantasizing about setting your house on fire. Don't attempt this alone. (decluttering, that is, not setting your house on fire. That you shouldn't attempt at all) It requires focus and objectivity- two things the mentally ill rarely possess. I can't stress enough the benefit of hiring a professional organizer. They are machines, and they will help you get through decluttering and reorganizing in a tenth of the time it would take if you did it on your own. They also won't leave you with a bigger mess than what you started with, and will usually take the things you are getting rid of/donating for you, so you don't have to make a trip to the thrift store. Once you have only what you need and love, you will find your home and mind are easier to keep tidy.
It's painful to accept your limitations, but once you do you can start to find ways to overcome them.
 
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DAY 5 MINI CHALLENGE 2017

3/10/2017

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Our last day together!  Let’s make it count.  Daylight Savings Time begins shortly.  This is a great reminder to check your safety and emergency supplies and plans. 
 
Take the 10 minutes to make a list of what supplies need to be replaced so that when you are shopping you’ll have it handy.  Put it somewhere real – in your phone if that works for you instead of on a piece of paper that you’ll leave on the table when you go out the door!
 
Check the batteries in your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors. 
 
Pull out your emergency packs and go bags from your house, car and office (if relevant).  Helping loved ones do this even though they may not live with you is always a good idea.
 
As a rule, I put the bottled water out so we use it up and replenish it with fresh.  You don’t want it to be compromised by too long in fluctuating temperatures.
 
Check the expiry dates on all foodstuffs.  Think of whether or not anything needs to be removed or added from your supplies. 
 
Test your bags or suitcases that hold everything.  Is this realistic in an emergency – can you lift it for more than 30 seconds?
 
Shopping online for lightweight camping or outdoor gear is a great way to purchase only what you need and stay on budget.
 
Be realistic – if you won’t get all the pieces together then consider buying a readymade pack online from a certified source.  The peace of mind must be worked into your budget. 
 
MEDICATIONS – ensure that any medications you or your favourite people need are included in your preparations.  Old eyeglasses should be there as well. 
 
Over dinner tonight discuss what your plan is for a meeting place for the household in case of evacuation.  Make it less scary by practicing it every once in a while so it will already be in mind. 
 
 
It’s a no brainer habit to check and update these things every time we begin or end DST.  That way you won’t be caught off guard.
 
I have really benefited from spending this week with you.  Your feedback inspires me. 
 
Thank you for the privilege – until next year!
 
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DAY 4 MINI CHALLENGE 2017

3/9/2017

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​We’re in the home stretch.  Today we are going to be ruthless with small appliances.  Toaster, toaster ovens, mixers, blenders, food processors, waffle irons, hot sandwich plates etc. 
 
Pull them all out wherever they may be lurking.  Examine the state of each – damaged, broken, gross and beyond cleaning. 
 
From there the triage will be more straightforward. 
Have you used it in the last year? 
If only a handful of time then was it worth the precious real estate to store it? 
Do you have duplicates? 
Do you have some that serve multiple functions which would enable you to let go of other single use ones?
Are you keeping it because you think you should use it (but really won’t)?
Are you only keeping it out of guilt?
 
Keep this fact in mind – most of the objects we keep hold of ‘just in case’ can be replaced within 20 minutes of where we live for $20 or less.  They could also significantly benefit someone else right now.
 
Access is such a motivator to tidying.  If we can easily remove something from the cupboard without having to first remove 3 other objects then we will be much more prone to actually using it, washing it and putting it away again.
 
Purge away!

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Day 3 Mini Challenge 2017

3/8/2017

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​It’s hump day of National Spring Cleaning Week (US but I thought it worked well!).  Today is a follow on from yesterday’s goal.  Tchotchkes (Yiddish for knickknack or trinket), throw pillows, curtains etc are the vein of the day. 
 
Consider what you choose to surround yourself, your space with and why. 
 
We are a politically correct society and I’ve noticed that that permeates all aspects of our lives, even our innermost sanctuary and refuge – our home.  You’ve heard the saying, ‘An Englishman’s home is his castle’.  Is your home or space truly your castle?  Again, no judgement, this is your party. 
 
Why are we compelled to hold onto certain items – because we love them?  They were gifts. They were passed down.  Guilt is very powerful but only if you choose to surrender your power.  Decide.  Live on purpose.
 
What you own demands a certain amount of energy, time, maintenance etc so make sure it’s worth it.  No saving for a special occasion or for future generations.  That is guilt you are giving future power.  You would never offer that principle as a piece of advice to a friend so why accept it for yourself?  Hmm?  Aaah.  Ok, now purge and let go.
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March 07th, 2017

3/7/2017

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Tuesday calls!  Today we are going to remove ourselves, psychologically, from our surroundings and possessions.  This challenge will give you the biggest bang for your buck!  It makes a grand and immediate impact. 
 
Put your real estate mindset in gear – start at the entrance of your home or room and work clockwise. 
 
Question what you don’t even see or notice anymore. 
 
What purpose does this piece of furniture serve?
Do I love it? 
Is it too big or too small for the space? 
Is it damaged or broken? 
If so, is it worth or even possible to repair?
Will I really miss it if I let it go?
 
A lot of what surrounds us on a daily basis is there because it has become just part of the scenery. 
 
Let’s live on purpose. 
 
On a practical level – vacuuming/hovering and washing the floor is just so simple when there is less to manoeuvre around.  Floor space is very luxurious.
 
Only 10 minutes, mind.  You don’t have to haul it out of your space this minute but do your future self a favour and make a plan.
 
Please share your pics, comments etc.  It’s so good to share.

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DAY 1 MINI CHALLENGE 2017

3/6/2017

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Good Morning!  As a non-morning person I will refrain from excessive, annoying hysteria this fine Monday in March 2017 (how did you feel about that exclamation mark?).
 
 A brief intro – today is DAY 1 of our 5 day, 10 minute Mini Challenge 2017.  I chose to start it in March this year so that everyone would be resigned but no longer bummed about not rocking their New Years’ resolutions.  Moving on…
 
Are you your own worst enemy/victim of stack attack?!  Now, I speak from personal experience here, do you have multiple stacks or piles of paper, stuff – categorized or random in different locations around your abode? 
 
Today is THE day.  Decide which – as in 1 stack you will attack for our challenge today.  No delayed decisions.  What is touched must be dealt with.  Please halt the excessive eye rolling and heavy sighing.  The key to momentum this blessed week is 10 minutes a day!
 
The initial sort is only whether to keep or throw out.  Then you have a keep pile to manage but only after the toss is done.
 
Of course, this will be torment initially for some of you and not enough for the A type vibe out there.  There are no grades, marks, awards or other accolades waiting in the wings – as you are aware, this is not about judgement. 
 
It’s about doing something rather than nothing.  That in itself is what we call a win win. 
 
It’s so encouraging to see and rejoice in the progress of others.  So if you dare, please share.  Comment, pics, testimonials  etc.  Please respect the no swearing, judging or negativity that is so common place – it’s not what we’re interested in here.
 
For those of you that see no personal relevance to this particular challenge, I have an alternative – under the sink, any sink (a fave from last year) or insert here for your own challenge.  Go for it! 
 
Last comment  – the challenges this week are unisex, ageless and not restricted by any other boundaries.  You know you – do what you can do.  As the French say, “Point.” as in “end of discussion.”
 

 
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