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Is more better?

9/15/2015

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Is more better?  What do you think?  By our actions we reveal that, yes, more is better.  Really?  
Yes. Think of it, look around you, what do you see?

I see people shopping even though they really don't need anything. I see people buying 8 of something even though they only needed 2 because it's a better deal to have 8 and by extension it feeds into the 'just in case' fear we so easily give into.  I see people getting into more debt by shopping.  I see them teaching their children by example that if they desire something that is equivalent to a need so they must buy it now.

What do you see?

This is not all about other people, it is about me, it is about you.  None of us are exempt from this.  It is to a large degree what our culture is based on.  The post war economy was largely based on materialism. Materialism engenders consumerism.  Consumerism makes our world go round.  

I challenge you to think of 8 things you could easily live without and donate them today.


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Is it necessary to declutter?

9/14/2015

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Everyone is jumping on the decluttering bandwagon.  The current vibe is that decluttering is the panacea for all the world's ills.  If only.  

No, realistically it is up to you to decide if decluttering is for you.  Don't take this decision lightly though, a thorough honest chat with yourself is called for.  

Here are some questions to ponder and ruminate upon:


Is the stuff in my home or office disrupting my ability to carry on a normal everyday life?  If so, to what extent?

Could I benefit health wise, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially by purging?

Is my daily productivity affected negatively at home or at work by the clutter, disorganisation, lack of systems?

If clutter is an issue for me, do I have the bravery demanded to admit it, confront it and deal with it?


Usually by the time we realise we need to get control of our lives by decluttering we need help to do it. 
Think of ways your day to day could be better by purging.   










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Unschedule your Schedule

9/7/2015

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It's September!  What does that mean?  In French there is an expression for this time of year, "C'est la rentree."  Meaning literally, 'going back into, re-entering'.  There are many types of rentree but the most notable is La Rentree Scolaire, or back to school.  The mood of this time of year is full of excitement, optimism and positivity.  All the new supplies, new schedules, clothes and resumption of daily rhythm after the summer break.  We have this idea to a certain degree in English but surely not to the extent of the French phenomenon.  It is palpable.

Why this information?  Besides it's interest factor, it made me start thinking this week as we prepare for back to school.  Now don't shut down if you don't have children.  The principles are valid for everyone. My main thrust of this is over scheduling.  I think we, as a society need to start decluttering our schedules, put them on a diet or intentionally start unscheduling.

A large percentage of elementary school children in this country have upwards of 3 extra curricular activities per week.  You may not think this is excessive.  I am not here to say if it is or isn't.  This is only to make you think, question and adjust if necessary.  It's your call.

School 5 days a week, 3 extra activities, homework, family time (hopefully), spirituality, play dates, bathing, eating as a family, reading for pleasure, screen time, free play - unstructured by nature - time to be silly because you are a kid and that's what kids do and need to do.  These are only some of the things that our children are expected to do each week, week in and week out.  Never mind special events, sickness, unexpected occurrences.  Some children actually eat their dinner in the car while being shuttled to and from various activities.  I know people like this.

What is the motivation behind this mass scheduling of our young?  I dare to say, one-upmanship in many cases aka peer pressure.  You thought that was a thing of the past once you left high school?  Alas, no.  
The constant banter of other families, children and parents.  Extolling the virtues and skills they are acquiring on a never ending round of stimulation.  Fear of falling behind compared to the Joneses is the guilt culprit for many.  Somehow being made to feel that your child will inevitably miss out on some skill, talent or knowledge that is for some reason not available later in life.  Proving your worth as a parent is commonly measured by how busy your kid is.

I challenge you to step back, focus on objectivity for the sake of this exercise.  Speak with your child, see what they really want to participate in as far as activities go.  It's ok to say no.  Having a night or weekend of unscheduled time is good for the soul and social development.  It can be good to be bored - it engenders creativity.  It allows for spontaneity.

If your child misses the boat as far as developing basic, necessary social skills by interacting with other children, older adults and family members (conversation is a commodity these days) it is very difficult and most likely impossible to make up for it as an adult.  If, on the other hand they don't learn to ski or do gymnastics or paint right now they will definitely be able to explore those hobbies later in life as an adult.

This can and should also be applied to your personal schedule.  It's ok to decline an invitation without justifying why.  Did you hear that part?  Without justifying why.  Manners must still apply but saying no is definitely healthy sometimes.   Let's be real, there are times I just want to stay home and watch Seinfeld reruns.  This takes practice but is very rewarding and a sense of relief comes with the feeling of control you will experience over your own schedule. If you can't get the hang of it, pencil a date with yourself in on your calendar.  An appointment with yourself - keep it. Try it and see.
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Re-educate Yourself

9/2/2015

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Are you educated?  Whether you have a formal degree or not, we are all educated.  Whether your education is a help or a hindrance is another question.  Who educated you?  Parents, teachers, relatives, a third party?  For what we are discussing it doesn't really matter who or how.  The crux is to determine what you have learned and how it is serving you.  If it isn't then it's time to re-educate ourselves.

I will give some examples to illustrate my point:

When you were growing up was it always a panic to get ready and out the door in the morning?

Was it a common occurrence to go through the dirty clothes basket looking for a specific item of clothing?

Was the dining table always full of papers so that actually sitting down to eat dinner there rarely happened?

Were you hesitant to have friends over because your house let you down?

There are of course many other scenarios that may come to mind about what has become learned behaviour for you.  We usually gravitate to what we know.  What we know is not always the best option but it's in our comfort zone.  Do you find yourself repeating history in your own life now?

And so I challenge you today - ponder over what learned behaviours you exhibit and whether or not they are to your advantage.  You may also want to consider whether they are to your family's advantage.
What learned behaviours are you passing on to your children?

If you find there are some that you are not a fan of then what?  Re-educate yourself.  It's that simple.  Not simple in a patronizing way but simple in the sense that it's more dependent on consistency from you - that will determine your success.  Decide and do it.  Small steps.  Tackle one thing at a time but when you do, be consistent.
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