What do you want?  I was asked this recently and honestly I didn’t have an answer.  I went through the normal go-to answers but they weren’t doing it for me.  You’d think you’d have an endless list of wants.  Do you?  It brought me to some serious reflecting. 
 
I have a few higher end items that I’m making plans to purchase but they are very practical and not particularly exciting.  I realized that I have mostly everything I need and want.  I have a healthy, happy family, friends that are special, a cozy home, a strong faith, work that I love, food & drink and time.
 
Never enough time but nevertheless, time. I get to do the school run, help my kids with their homework, lessons, reading, life lessons that take time believe me!  I have a spouse that I would remarry in a heartbeat if I had a do-over.
 
So, really, the question of what do you want is moot for me.  I’m not a minimalist in the classic, stereotypical sense of the word but in my own way being more aware of consumerism and the pressure to conform to the marketers has been only beneficial. 
 
Take a moment over the next while and consider how you would have answered the question.  Do your future self a huge favour – decide what you really want and then take steps to get there.  Talk to someone supportive about it.  We gain so much additional insight from listening to others.  It doesn’t mean you do everything they say but it leads to food for thought.
 
This is not meant to be an overwhelming project with spreadsheets and graphs.  This is an opportunity to give yourself a moment to think about something beyond the errands and chores of the day. 
 
As always, your respectful comments and thoughts are more than welcome…

​Food, clothing and shelter. The latter is one of our most basic human needs.  In this part of the world the majority of people have a shelter, covering or something similar that they have the privilege of calling home.  Everyone has been waxing lyrical of late regarding the extent to which they are thankful, grateful, moved by the fact that they love their ‘shelter.’ 
 
Really?  Show me the money.  The same principle applies to housing as it does to how you treat loved ones, your work ethic, your investment in your community etc.  Your affirmations are proven by your actions.
 
If someone were a bug on the wall in your abode would they be struck by the extent to which you appreciate your shelter?
 
This is not to be considered on a judgement level.  Judgement, in my opinion, in this context is paralysing and therefore redundant.  Let’s focus instead on forging ahead for what will improve our state of mind, attitude, confidence and self-esteem and by extension our nearest and dearest.
 
If our primary shelter from the outside world, negativity, stress, anything unpleasant is in disarray or suffering from extreme disrespect then what message is really at the fore?  If we actually do not have a place of sanctuary that is the pinnacle of love that welcomes us at the end of the day then we are telling ourselves steadily that we don’t deserve it.  Think about that.   Is that what you work for?  Is that what you teach your children?  Is that how you love yourself? 
 
These questions, if answered honestly will give you the answers you need to listen to.  Your home – whatever form that takes, should welcome you, make you feel safe, give you refuge, calm, mental space, room to grow, discover your talents, nurture your family, make you happy to be there.  If it does not for various reasons then the onus is on you to give yourself the gift of ‘shelter.’

How many plates do you need?  How many pots?  How many socks?  How much make-up?  How much back-up stock do you need?  I don’t know.  Only you can decide what is reasonable and what you are comfortable with. 
 
There are various determining factors:
 
Do you entertain regularly?  This may influence whether you need a basic dish set of 4 or maybe 8 or 12 would be used in your household. 
 
How many types of glasses or silverware do you actually use?  Maybe you don’t like cognac so keeping that set of glasses specific to that liqueur wouldn’t make sense for you.  If you have a regular guest or loved one that does enjoy that bevy at yours then keep 1 or 2 glasses just for them. 
 
Do you wear make-up or do you just keep it because you feel as a grown-up you should?  Do you only wear the same make-up or do you experiment and try new looks?  This will help you work out what is to be kept.
 
We all use toilet paper regularly.  A certain amount of stock is a must.  But should that be a Costco haul of stock or maybe one extra package from a store that sells non-bulk sizes?  This goes for personal care items and food too.
 
Do you have so much stock of food in your pantry that it will likely or already has expired before it will be eaten? More is not necessarily better.  Invite the guilt of waste and ‘I should use that (but I won’t)’ out the door.  Do it and move on. 
 
It’s helpful to decide on a magic number to help you sift your supplies.  If the number is 6 for example, that is your general guide.  To simplify your process, adopt 6 as the go to amount and then adjust.  Keeping six plates doesn’t mean you have to keep the complete 6 place settings.  Keep what you use and love. 
 
If you are deciding on nail varnish or lipstick this is also a helpful bar (provided it’s not pivotal to your livelihood).  But if you are considering vacuums or extra duvets then 6 may be too many.  Adjust and adapt.
 
Share some of your magic numbers – we can all learn something.

​Do you stand in the way of your own success?  Of course not, you may say as if on cue.  Stop and consider your self-talk for a moment.  Often, what is portrayed is not what is.  You may be the type of person that others would imagine they would like to emulate but in your own head that is far from how you feel. 
 
Do you engage in an internal running commentary – negative?  Why did I say that?  That wasn’t funny.  How could I be so stupid?  They must think I’m such a loser.  I should leave now.
 
I have heard these reflections from many.  Mostly, they make me feel sad.  Sad for the constant state of “not good enough” that runs perpetually in the mind.  You may be wondering what, if anything, any of this has to do with de-cluttering.
 
 I will explain the link I see – I would just like to make something clear though, I’m in no way a counsellor, therapist etc.  These are merely my own musings. 
 
The same pattern of self sabotage emerges when I speak and work with clients who feel they have somehow failed at life and the clutter, disarray and overwhelm is proof of that failure.  It’s screaming at them constantly to make sure they understand that they are too far gone, they suck, this must be the worst house I’ve ever seen, how could they have let it get to this level and on and on. 
 
Now is the time for thought stop.  Thought stop is just that – stop your thought and tell yourself out loud if it helps – to stop thinking this way and then focus on a positive thought about you.  Ex. I had the guts to ask for help, I chose to make a change, I am not a loser, I’m not the only one who has become inundated with stuff, I’m not the only one who is overwhelmed, I’m not a bad person because my space is a mess,  I am going to help myself, I do count. 
 
There are many circumstances throughout the course of our lives that we may only have a minimal amount of control over.  Basic clutter, too much stuff and lack of organisation are things we do have ultimate control over.  Rise to your true self, do what you need to do – for you.