You've heard of the man cave - a haven for the male of the house. Now the shame cave I am referring to is actually the exact opposite. I think regardless of how organised you are overall (or not at all) we all have an Achilles heel when it comes to our stuff. There is usually one aspect of our life or our house which is an ongoing challenge to keep in check.
For me, it is paper. Bills, things to file, action pile, archiving to be done etc. So, when company is coming or I need the apartment to be presentable to those other than those closest to me, I put my paper piles in my room and close the door. My side of the bed then becomes my shame cave. It lingers and annoys me and inevitably feeds my guilt reflex.
For you it may be a junk room, a cupboard, a closet, a drawer. Whatever form it takes in your life you know to what I refer.
Of course, there are many reasons for these shame caves - can't get motivated to deal with it, not the most important task on our list, it's usually unseen so easier to ignore. It may be the result of a hasty move, delayed decisions/ procrastination. Regardless, it weighs on you when you think of it or see it. That is not healthy in the long run.
Ask yourself this: What am I willing to surrender for this space? Would you gladly or willingly forego usable space in your house - living space? Are you resigned to sacrificing peace of mind? Does it go without saying that you are not the example you want to be?
It all boils down to storage area vs living area.
These questions are not to make you feel worse about the situation, on the contrary - make a plan. Set yourself up for success before you start:
- plan a certain block of time for the task, even 30min, set the timer
- have garbage bags or boxes ready that you can label - throw, keep, recycle, donate etc
- put on some music that inspires you or a tv show that you like in the background
- have your phone nearby so you can take care of interruptions without leaving the space
- eat a proper meal before you start so you have the capacity required for the task
- if you are still in need of guidance, send up a flare and give me a call!
I wish you success.
For me, it is paper. Bills, things to file, action pile, archiving to be done etc. So, when company is coming or I need the apartment to be presentable to those other than those closest to me, I put my paper piles in my room and close the door. My side of the bed then becomes my shame cave. It lingers and annoys me and inevitably feeds my guilt reflex.
For you it may be a junk room, a cupboard, a closet, a drawer. Whatever form it takes in your life you know to what I refer.
Of course, there are many reasons for these shame caves - can't get motivated to deal with it, not the most important task on our list, it's usually unseen so easier to ignore. It may be the result of a hasty move, delayed decisions/ procrastination. Regardless, it weighs on you when you think of it or see it. That is not healthy in the long run.
Ask yourself this: What am I willing to surrender for this space? Would you gladly or willingly forego usable space in your house - living space? Are you resigned to sacrificing peace of mind? Does it go without saying that you are not the example you want to be?
It all boils down to storage area vs living area.
These questions are not to make you feel worse about the situation, on the contrary - make a plan. Set yourself up for success before you start:
- plan a certain block of time for the task, even 30min, set the timer
- have garbage bags or boxes ready that you can label - throw, keep, recycle, donate etc
- put on some music that inspires you or a tv show that you like in the background
- have your phone nearby so you can take care of interruptions without leaving the space
- eat a proper meal before you start so you have the capacity required for the task
- if you are still in need of guidance, send up a flare and give me a call!
I wish you success.
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